The Flat Share – Chapter 17

“Ladies, that door is closed, sorry, you need to go to the main entrance.”

“Oh, oh right, okay, thanks.  Thanks.”

“Security you know, have to lock all but the main doors at night.  Can I help you with those boxes.”

“No, no thanks, they’re not heavy.”

“Are you sure, they’re a bit bulky for you to manage.  Where are you going with them?”

“Erm, Maternity.  Free nappies.”


“Yeah, that’s it, what my friend said, free nappies, a gift from erm Mum’s net.  You know the online thingy.  They’re bio-degradable, a trial thing.”

“It’s a bit late to be delivering those isn’t it though?”

“Yeah, yeah it is but we’ve been doing it all day, driven miles. Still I think the pooping’s twenty four seven isn’t it?  he he.  Anyway, thanks for the help, Main entrance this way is it?  – Come on Joanie.”

“True, true, well okay, if you’re sure you can manage ladies, take care now.”…

“Oh, thanks, bloody hell thanks Charlie.”

“What, what did I do.”

“You only told him my name didn’t you.”

“What, I didn’t, oh shit yes I did, hey hang on, slow down.”

“Idiot, bloody twerp.  Honestly, look we just need to dump these now and get out of here.  Come on in this door.”

“But, that’s not the main entrance; he said we should go in the main entrance.”

“Oh for heavens… look we don’t want to be seen – any more than we already have been anyway.  There’ll be cameras and more security and staff and even bloody sick people round by the main entrance.  Here, this door.  Hang on while I see if it’s open.  Shit, locked.”

“There’s a rubbish skip Joanie, couldn’t we just put em in there.”

“Yeah, yeah we could, but if we do that they’ll probably just be taken away and then Sam-bloody-mantha won’t be involved.  Do you see, one of the main things is that she has to be implicated?  Otherwise it’s just us against the delivery bloke and that could get nasty.”

“Look, over there, there’s an open window.  Could we push em through the window?”

“No, they won’t fit but if I get inside I can open the big one and then you can pass ‘em in to me.  Thank heaven’s for these crappy old buildings.”

“Oh bloody hell Joanie, this is getting really scary now, do you really want to do that?”

“No, of course I don’t want to but have you got a better idea?”

“Oh bugger.”

“Right, give me a leg up, if I can reach inside I can probably pull that catch off the little peg thingy.”

“Oof, ooof, God Joanie you’re heavier than you look.”

“Oh, nice, thank you so much, very nice.”

“Oh, no, what I meant was, well I didn’t mean you were heavy, well I mean.”

“Charlie, just shut up will you.”


“Right, move out of the way, I don’t want to kick you, well actually I do right now but I won’t.

“Okay pass the first box up.”

“What is it, that room? Where are you?”

“It looks like some sort of a kitchen or a lab or something, anyway it’ll be a perfect place to leave the boxes.  Come on pass ‘em in.”

“Right, here ya’ go.”…

“Right, now just stand out of the way, I’m goin’ to have to slither out, be ready to catch me if I slip.”

“Okay, here we go, be careful Joanie…

“Aah, ow, ow, ow.  Oh god my arm, Joanie you landed on my arm.”

“Sorry, sorry, oh I’m sorry Charlie, are you okay.”

“Ow,ow, no, bloody hell – no, oh Joanie, I can’t move it, I think it’s broken.”

“Oh my god, oh Charlie, I’m so sorry.  Let me look, oh shit look it’s going black.  Come on, let’s get round to the main entrance, you need to get into A&E right now.  Oh, I’m so sorry Charlie.”


1 Comment

Filed under Serials, Shorts and Stuff

One response to “The Flat Share – Chapter 17

  1. Oh, I love how your mind works! 🙂


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