an extra post today. This is my latest story on Shortbread Stories why not pop over there and see what other things there are. There is something for everyone and you can read, download and listen to audio stories all for free.
I walked down to the harbour earlier today, one day each year I go there, it’s the contract I have made with my soul. I will live my life as I must except for this on the anniversary of his going. It was beautiful there, just as it was the day he sailed.
At this time of the year when it becomes late afternoon the sun is bright but the heat is leaking away. The water twinkled and flickered amongst the hulls and the gulls performed a ballet for me. I allowed myself to become lost in thoughts of him then as I listened to the cries of the seabirds and the shouting of children as they danced with the waves. I closed my eyes and the sunlight painted my secret world scarlet, a pulsing violent colour in the space where my vision had been. I let the sounds blend and blur until they became a single entity, white noise and red light carrying me away from the cruel reality of my solitude in that sacred place, the place where we met.
I always knew that he would leave me, why would he not. He was a treasure plucked from the sea-shore and the waves took him back. I hoped to have him longer but life is cruel and six days only were our allotment. I thought life would take him but in the event it was life’s alter ego, her darker sister and so he perished.
Now, these many years later I can look on the whole thing with only the smallest of heartbreak, a waft of sadness, a spectre of pain but at first I thought that I would never bear it. I bore it, for see I am here.
The first touch of his hand was a blessing the final kiss of his lips was a curse but for all that I treasure his memory and if I were to forfeit all other pleasures those six days would be my chosen prize.
So, I stayed an hour, alone in the crowds, silent amongst the laughter and I gifted myself this self-indulgence and now I have come back, back to the house on the hill and the children and the hands, eyes and lips of my husband. The feel of his body against mine, his skin melding with my own and his demands on my soul. He has me, owns me and will not let me go but I had my hour, I had my bliss and so I continue to endure.