Just for a laugh – No Offence Meant


12 Commandments??

“So have you nearly finished?”

“Yes Lord.”

“Is it looking good?”

“Erm, yup it’s pretty good.”

“Pretty good?”

“Well, yeah.  It’s looking great.”

“Mo””

“What?”

“Do you acknowledge that I am your one true God?”

“Yeah, we’ve discussed this before God, you know I do.  I worship you, well you know that.”

“Do you acknowledge my child that I am all seeing, all powerful?”

“Aw come on, don’t let’s go over all that again.  It’s getting late and the others are waiting for me innit.”

“Mo, is it looking good?”

“Yeah, I said.”

“Read them back to me.”

“What all of ‘em?”

“Yes.  Please.”

“Erm, well the thing is…”

“Yes.”

“Well you know how you said Times New Roman twelve point with half inch margins.”

“Yes.”

“Erm, well I thought you know, that was a bit – like – boring.”

“BORING.”

“Yeah, yeah but not in a yawn, yawn more instructions sort of way.  More in a plain sort of way.”

“And.”

“Well I kinda went for something more visually pleasing.”

“How.”

“Well I used – like bigger margins.”

“Why?”

“Well I thought I could put some grape vines and stuff on there, and a couple of cherubs at the bottom.  Plus I thought you know if I did some little images, you know like little demons and stuff It’d help in a visual prompt thingy.”

“Right, and is there anything else.”

“Weeeeeell.”

“Mo?”

“I did go for Comic Sans, and I made it a bit bigger, some of the oldies have problems with little fonts you know.  I was just trying to use my knowledge, you know think outside the box a bit.”

“Okay.  Let’s cut to the chase.  You made the margins bigger, you put pictures on there – pictures for heaven’s sake, and you used a bigger font.  Am I getting this right?”

“Yup.”

“And?”

“Erm.”

“Moses?”

“Well I left off the last one.”

“WHAT”

“Well to be honest God, and with like respect and stuff I just didn’t get it.  The eleventh one, the one about making sure you have clean underwear on somehow didn’t quite fit with the others, it’s important yeah, in case you have an accident and that but it seems a bit – well insignificant beside the murder and stealing and respecting and so on but I put that in, didn’t want to be too presumptuous and so on.  I did wonder though if maybe you’d gone off the boil a bit if you don’t mind me sayin’ and it overran what with the bigger font and then I really wanted to put in the extra couple of squirls on the bottom corners and well I mean you’ve already covered so much, it’s great it really is and I think we can do some good work with it, in a guidance and “rules to live by” sort of a way.  It was just that, If I can be frank, I just thought that last one made the tablet look a bit – well crowded and it spoilt the balance and really, to be honest I’m not sure how many people do that, well not with our camels?”

 

 

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4 Comments

Filed under Serials, Shorts and Stuff

4 responses to “Just for a laugh – No Offence Meant

  1. Funny irreverent in a charming fashion – loved the very distinct voices.

    Like

  2. Fran Macilvey

    LOL! 😀 xxxx

    Like

  3. Ooooh I am so offended. There’s going to be some smiting done if I’m not very much mistaken. Made me laugh too 🙂

    Like

  4. richard lambert

    The one that worries me is about coveting my neighbours ass. No neighbour of mine ever owned an ass so I feel I may have missed out on a bit of coveting, ho hum that’s my life all over.

    Like

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