The Flat Share

flat share

This is my temporary cover and links to Authonomy.

Chapter 13

“Charlie, what’s this about, what the hell’s that vid?”

“Well, Charlie, are you going to tell Joanie all about it or shall I, or shall we just move along.”

“No, I’ll tell her, just give me a minute. Okay, look Joanie, I don’t know what happened, I really don’t.  I was in town, I was feeling pretty bloody fed up, no money, nowhere to go and, well you know what it’s like.  I tried to cheer myself up with a walk round the shops, I went into Marks and they had these lovely new bras and, well I just really, really liked them.  I wanted one, well to be honest I suppose I just wanted something, a treat.  I picked it up and it was so small and my bag was open and it just went in.”

“Oh, don’t just listen Joanie, look you can watch the whole thing in glorious Technicolor.”

“Shut up Samantha, just shut up. Let me tell her all of it, the next bit, you mean bitch.”

“What next bit Charlie, ignore Sammy just talk to me, we’ll deal with her later.  I just need to know what’s happened here because, to be honest, I feel out of my depth.”

“The next bit, and I don’t suppose you bothered to film this did you, Samantha?  The next bit, was when I was just outside.  The security guard yelled out, “Stop madam.” Or something like that anyway and I froze.  I can’t even begin to tell you how horrible it was, I was sure that he’d seen me, that I’d be arrested, lose my job, the embarrassment, well you know everything.  Anyway, it seemed to go on for ages and there I was just waiting for him to cuff me or something.”

“Oh for Pete’s sake, cuff you, where do you think this is Miami.”

“I was panicked and scared stupid, literally wetting myself.”

“Oh, oh no, too much information.”

“Sorry, sorry Joanie but do you see, do you see how scared I was.  Well eventually, I opened my eyes and there he was.  He hadn’t shouted at me at all, some little kid had dropped its teddy and he was just givin’ it back.  Well – and this is the bit that bitch face over there hasn’t told you. I was so relieved and everything that I went straight back into the shop and put the bra back.  Not right back on the rail, I was in too much of a state for that, but back on a hanger, then I came home.  It was horrible but I didn’t nick it.  Well, I kinda did but not really, I more, took it for a walk.”

“And so, Joanie and innocent little Charlie, if that’s the case, what do you reckon this is?”

“Oh, bloody hell.  That’s the bra.  You twisted sod, you evil bugger.  You went back in, is it, is it, is that the same one?”

“Well of course it’s the same one, it wouldn’t be evidence other wise.  Look here’s the little security tag, and the nice little price ticket all with the right numbers and date on to stand up to checking, oh dear, oh dear.  What will your mummy and daddy say when the police come.  Mind you, one little weeny bra isn’t much evidence is it, and so just to make it worth their while I brought a few chums along.  If you just open that drawer there.  Oh look, lots and lots of lovely undies, and my word what’s that, oh a couple of towels and, yes, yes, there we are a lovely set of cutlery.  All out of the nice bag you carried upstairs for me, so helpfully.  Oh my word, do you think your finger prints’ll be on the handle – oh golly what a mess.

“Now then about my little stash of pills.  Shall we have an informed discussion?”



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Filed under Serials, Serials, Shorts and Stuff

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