The Flat Share

Chapter 14

“Bloody hell Joanie, what are we going to do?”


“Oh, well, oh I see.  Well yes I guess it’s nothing to do with you really.  Still, um.”

“Don’t be stupid.  D’ya think I’d let ya down now.  No, we’ll sort this.  Shush now she’s coming back. Don’t say too much, let’s just try and put things off till we have a chance to think.”

“Now then ladies, that was a colleague of mine.  He’ll be coming round later tonight; we have some stock to rotate.”

“Samantha can I ask you a question?”

“You know Joanie this didn’t need to involve you, if you hadn’t been so bloody nosey.”

“Yeah, well.  Thing is though, why did you put that stupid lock on the door?  What was that all about?”

“Well, just think of it as a poster.  If I’d put a sign on the door saying keep out, you’d have thought I was odd and probably, well, kept out.  A lock though, a lock, I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist.  I wasn’t sure about you Charlotte, you’re a funny one and no mistake, I suppose you might have kept your nose out but not you Joanie, oh no, not you.”

“Okay, gloat if you want but I still don’t understand, why did you want us in here, why did you want us to know about it?”

“Don’t be obtuse.  Now you’re hooked, now you know, you can’t get away from it, and you can’t do anything about it.  Belt and braces I suppose, you’re accessories and so you can’t do anything.  It’s always a problem finding secure storage and this little flat is a god send.”

“But, why me Sammy.  I’ve never done anything like that before, never. How did you know, why did you pick on me?”

“Oh Charlie, you really are a dufus aren’t you.”

“Am I? I don’t know what that is.”

“I saw you in Marks, you slipped that bra in your bag.  God if you’d been wearing a great sandwich board saying ‘nick me’ it couldn’t have been clearer.  If it hadn’t been for the kid and the teddy you might have been nicked.  You probably would’ve been but there you are fate, karma, whatever.  I spotted you though and it was too good a chance to miss. I followed you, wasn’t sure how I was going to use you really but – well – straight into the net with that card advertising the share.  I must have been really good in a previous life to have such luck. Anyway we must move along. Okay, so the rules.  This is how we’re going to do it.  The stuff will be left here, you won’t touch it.  I’ll ignore that opened box for the moment.  There will be more stuff, it might be delivered by other people.  You won’t ask questions, you’ll let them in, you’ll mind your own business, you won’t interfere.”

“Bloody hell, just who do you think you are bitch.”

“Well Joanie, it seems that I’m the person with evidence of your friend’s shop lifting activities.”

“Okay, yeah.  You stupid cow Charlie, by the way. But, it’s only a bra, yes there’s the other bits but that doesn’t prove much, you only have video of the bra and she’s not going to jail for a bra.  She can plead stress, I’ll bet she’d get off with a couple of hours gardening for old ladies.”

“And the deposits in her bank account, the food in the freezer, the champagne and wine.  Oh yes, Charlie, I took the liberty of putting a few more bottles in the cupboard.  Don’t you think it’s going to look a bit odd when her account had been overdrawn regularly for the last few months.”

“Oh Samantha, please don’t do this, please.  I’ve never been in trouble before, I haven’t.  I’ll lose my job and everything.  Please don’t do this.”

“Sorry sweetie, can’t be helped it’s done.  Look just sit back and go along for the ride.  Tell you what if you like maybe we can reach some sort of financial arrangement.  Yeah, why not.  I would never have actually come to stay here, God, the very idea.  But, maybe we can just rent the room for storage.  What do you reckon?”

“No, bloody hell, no way.”

“Well okay.  Just thought I’d offer.  It doesn’t make any difference the stuff’s here, it’s staying here and that’s that.  Right, I’ll leave you now ladies, I’m sure you’ve got a lot to talk about.  See you later.  Don’t forget there’ll be a delivery tonight.  This is great, I don’t even have to arrange to be here.  Byeee.”


“Oh come on Charlie, don’t start crying that’s not going to help is it.  Look we’ll sort this, really we will.  Come on we’ll go downstairs and get a cuppa on and that’ll give me time to think.


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Filed under Serials, Serials, Shorts and Stuff

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